004 - † My faith! ;ଓ

    Since I was theee littlest girl, I practically grew up in church. I sang for the church choir every first Sunday of the month, attended youth Sunday, and got baptized by my grandfather. I always wanted to be included in anything that involved the church. During those years, I didn't actually know God. I knew of him but did not know him personally. What I mean is-- I didn't talk to him and read his word constantly. I was a little kid, not knowing what it really meant to actually know him. I knew and valued him enough that I didn't tolerate anything that was ungodly. As I got older, I was torn between living for the world and living for God. In middle school, I was the meanest girl ever but also wanted to love like Jesus (which is not possible)! I understood that I could only serve God or the enemy and I chose God in the end. 

    In middle school, I started having serious issues and I was at my lowest point. I didn't know what to do. I called out to God and together, we shaped my life to be better for me. I started having less problems and I was much more happier than before. But not for long...I started my first year in high school and got ahead of myself. I started talking to God less, stopped reading my Bible the way I should, and fell back into living for the world. Now, I wasn't doing anything terrible, I just drifted from God and started doing things without him while still claiming to be Christian. I became prideful and full of wrath--I understood why eventually. How could I do great things without God? I thought I could build a perfect life without him and it pushed me back to where I started. 

    As a sophomore, I started out strong, talking to God, reading my word and stopped listening to secular music. My mental health was better. I was again, happier than before. Now, this doesn't mean my problems went away complete--I had to deal with people who were worldly and did not want to see me win. I encountered people who were full of hate and envy. I lost nearly all my friends and I'm honestly happy about it because those same friends were the ones who were holding me back from serving my God and living a happier life away from the hate and evil. Now, I have a circle of friends who are followers of Christ and they've never steered me the wrong way and made my sophomore year worth it (shout out to you guys)! 

    With this upcoming school year, I spent the summer doing what God intended for me to do regarding him. Sometimes I felt lost and other times I trusted him (God always keeps his words, he never lies)! My summer has been peaceful even when the enemy tried to turn me the wrong way, I don't let them tempt me! I've made mistakes and hope to not make them again because I expressed wrath in a situation that I feel like I could've handle it better. I thought about myself first before thinking about God which is not what is good for me. My junior year, I hope to still accomplish things with God along side of me this time. Because of him, I have higher standards for myself in a godly way. He also contributes to my confidence, I feel prettier because he calls his children his best creation. He made us beautiful. 

My walk with Christ may not look the same to yours or anyone else's and that's okay. I hope for the best for anyone who's reading this, God bless you, sweetcakes!

xoxo, Lala .